Please enjoy this one minute commercial for Mark Kirk. I think some of these claims may be overstated.
Thanks to Horacio Ramirez for producing and adding some awesome vocals. Horacio has also made it possible for you to download these faux-commercials on i-tunes. You can see more of his work, and mine here.
http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/patrickandhoracioshows-podcast/id358010422
Mike Wilson, Judge Penitent 