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Mel Gibson Announces Retirement From Good PR

In a move that many in the entertainment industry have anticipated, Mel Gibson has formally announced his retirement from trying to get any positive public relations.  At a press conference, after telling all the women he would knock their teeth out if they wrote anything bad about him and explained to the Jewish reporters that they had all the money, Gibson said, “I have decided, after a long run of plugging movies and making middle-aged women think I am dreamy, it is time that I put what is left of my public good will into other activities, like domestic violence and more racism.”

Gibson seen here contemplating statements about his retirement in a homeless guy flannel and crazy ass beard that matches his eyes

Many thought Gibson might retire from good PR after he went on a tirade of religious and cultural epithets during his DUI arrest  in 2006.  “I apologized immediately and told people I didn’t really feel that way, thus prolonging a shred of positive community relations over the next 4 years.  My idea was to retire from good PR by using the “c” word to describe the mother of my infant child, as well as making various threats and alluding to physical violence against her.”

Gibson says he is retiring so he can pursue anti-Semitism or spousal abuse.  “I’m not really sure what direction I want to go in with my career at this point.  Threats against my ex-wife are okay, but marginalizing women in general will give me a bigger scope that will allow me to hone my craft.  On the other hand, there is still a lot of anti-Semitism out there, and I feel like I could be a major player, you know, big fish in a big pond.”

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