Blagojevich Opens Satellite Office Within Own Office


To prove his dedication to his job and to the people of Illinois it has now come out that Governor Rod Blagojevich opened a satellite office within his own state office. A move that former staffers and indicted cohorts agree showed his dedication to the job.

John Filan, Blagojevich’s budget director says, “he was so hard-working, I remember him seeing me at the doorstep of his office when we were putting together the FY ’07 budget. He was always so busy, and I started spouting quickly about possible new sources for the General Revenue Fund, and he digested it so quickly he ran to the bathroom, er, satellite office, and shut the door.”

Blagojevich thinks long and hard about the impact the FY 2007 budget will have on environmental issues as he considers using funds from leaky underground storage tanks to assist with the budget deficit and his quality jogging shoes that he got on sale at the New Balance store

 While Governor, Blagojevich reportedly made many decisions in his satellite office.  Answering important questions like “what do I think of ethics” and “how do I feel about the voters” were regular topics of discussion.

A former staffer recounts the way Blagojevich would critically think about all the important issues of the day. “I remember pouring over the AllKids program before we announced. I must have been at the office until 3AM, maybe 4 only to show up at 7 AM that same morning. When the governor rolled in at the crack of noon after a jog and a hair appointment, he asked me about it and before I got the chance to tell him about what I worked on he said, ‘yeah, that is great, whatever.’ He was so in touch with his office, he already knew what I was working on even though he spent much of the morning at Jamba Juice and Attitudes Hair Salon.”

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1 Comment

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One response to “Blagojevich Opens Satellite Office Within Own Office

  1. Joe Rock

    I have a minimum amount of high regard for that guy.

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