City of Chicago Cracks Down On Cell Phone Drivers With New Hotline


In a never-ending quest to keep driving as safe as possible, the Chicago City Council approved a measure that asks motorists to look out for drivers who are talking on their cell phones. Chicago Public Safety Spokesman, Rick Rogers, says people are getting careless as technology in the car becomes more prevalent, “Distracted driving has become a real problem, and we need to combat this with modern technology, so we are asking anyone who sees a driver talking on their cell phone to call our new hotline and simply navigate our 7 step menu with their touch tone phone, and enter the make, model, license plate number, a brief description of the driver and what distracting activity they are taking part in.”

Laura Carcinoma rockets down the Bishop Ford while texting the authorities about a distracted driver she has just seen using a cell phone

Rogers says he knows that some people may wish to not call in so as an added convenience Chicago will now open a service that accepts texts. “If people wish to text in any distracted violators, all they need to do is tell us the license plate number, the time, the date, your social security number, and your 19 digit personal identification number that will be given to you after you register by phone or text.”

Local commuter Heinz Messerschmidt says he thinks this new program is a great idea. “I cannot wait to use this revolutionary service. When I’m driving in every morning, reading the paper while I eat a McMuffin and looking at pictures of my dog, I see people talking on their phones, and it makes me furious that they don’t have their eyes on the road, and if they do, they certainly don’t have their mouths on the road.”

City officials say they expect an increase in revenues from distracted driving violations that will more than pay for the program.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “City of Chicago Cracks Down On Cell Phone Drivers With New Hotline

  1. The hotline phone number will be a complicated acronym instead of numerical. That’s always fun.

  2. Horacio

    Ha! There’s a PSA we should record.

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