Blagojevich Expands Constiuency to Vice Lords, Hells Angels, And Black Gangster Disciples


Always hedging his bets, erased Governor Rod Blagojevich is now looking into how to expand his contituency in prison.  Though he has not yet been found guilty of any charges, Blagojevich has decided that it might be in his best interest to start reaching out to some new groups.  “I am a bridge builder.” Said the former governor,  “I don’t see why there needs to be the constant fighting, we are all apples on the same branch.  Convicts in the same cell block ”

Blagojevich seen here using his "trigga finga" to ice a lot of bo jook political opponents who may not share his interests

“Though I have never piloted a motorcycle, I know that I have a lot in common with The Hell’s Angels, having run political protection schemes. ”  Blagojevich says his similarities with the biker gang don’t end there.  For years I sold the ‘Meth of Hope’ to the people of Illinois.  They believed me, but really I was giving their budget a ‘Hot Shot’ cutting it with cronyism that would ruin their nods and make comin’ down hard.”

Blagojevich says he has also been part of some assassination attempts.  “I remember when we had this thug running the Illinois State Board of Education.  I didn’t like him, so I painted a target on his back and busted  a political cap with the nickel nine gat of my administrative powers.  Yeah, do you remember his name…didn’t think so, punk.”

Blagojevich concluded, “I’m on trial now, and if I am convicted, it is probably because I’m not part of your system.  So you best step off and reconize that the governor’s office is a very powerful thing, and you don’t just give something like that away.”

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